Procrastinator

Man! i am a procrastinator! I feel like a pack of lazy bones! I wanted to start my revision 2 weeks ago and here I am now with nothing in progress! Teaching's really tiring; it sucks the energy out of me when I am done with my day's work. =( And i slpt thru my weekends!!! I gotta start i gotta start! I gotta get myself ready for uni, ready for life overseas and my parents ready for life without me! Give me motivation, pls!

*whiney*

On scholar-ships..

(Disclaimer: the author is in a cranky mood. what's written in the following paragraphs may not be pleasing, esp. to those under "S". you are advised to skip this entry. read at your own risk.)

hmm... been asked quite alot of times abt y y y i chose not to take up.. kinda sian to keep repeating my answers and sometimes when i aint in the right frame of mind, i will start to blabber nonsense.. but try not to take my comments too seriously coz i aint really in the perfect mood to write abt this topic, just have to get it out of my mind so i can start on other stuffs..

Yes, the big word starting with the letter "S". To most, it's something prestigious and glamourous, something worth fighting for; or so we were trained to think. It is this illusive notion of having "free" education, secured job in the future and being placed on the fast-track to success that has made people yearn for it, badly. Pardon me for being cynical, will this always be the case or just merely a rosy picture we have painted to assuage our fear? Often, some may be badly caught up in the chase for this illusive "pie" that they lost track of their directions. Is getting this "pie" so important that one can cast aside their person dreams and line themselves along their sponsor's direction?

I am not trying to make a sweeping statement or some erroneous generalisation. Some of the people i met really have no idea what they are in for after their studies. It's kinda parochial to think of "S" as some immediate form of money to see you through the education of your choice. If you were to look beyond, it's the job/bond it entails that will ultimately change or influence the kind of life you lead. I am trying to be sarcastic, but dont you find it rather "insulting" to let your sponsor decide where they want to assign you? It's foolish to try to convince oneself that you will have interest in the job. At the point when one's trying to decide whether to take up, there are way too many factors at influence to make an unbias choice. Are you sure that you will definitely like the job? or are you just plain trying to convince yourself that you will slowly like the job? Let's all face it, you have to really experience doing that particular job before you can decide whether you like it or not. Then here comes another problem, arent all "S" suppose to be adaptable, all rounded and ...?

Adaptability vs interest. No doubt one may adapt easily to any changing environment, there will ultimately come a point when one's too tired to change to suit the environment anymore. adaptability may be a good short term trait but it's interest that will ultimately drive one towards the path he/she wants and excel. Face it, if you dont have the interest, every waking moment of serving your bond will be tormenting. And slowly, you will start to entertain the thought of breaking (branded the ultimate immoral act of all) b--D. And if you were to let your "inner evil" enroach you, that's wad i call unethical.

People think that it's cool to go on fms. but the truth is, it's hard to tie over financially. With an "S", almost everything's paid for, planned for. but with fms, i am my own travel agent, insurance agent, bank agent, finance controller and the list goes on.. and my family aint that financially apt in paying my fees. despite all the trouble, i value freedom; the joy of choosing what i want to be in the future. that's y i chose to be daddy's mummy's "S"!

Freedom is what i chose. Free.

Life..

was having lunch today with Mr choy and ah gal, and it became a very meaningful life lesson=) there's really alot more abt relationships, breakups, how both gender behaves differently, game theory, "fishing" so on and so forth that you can learn by sharing=) hmm.. different priorities in life at different stages, guess that's really true yeh? ha i love teaching.. the best way to learn is to teach! am a star-fish saver.. for now =)

aim high, dream far.. .emo shot yeh?

I can fly!

Man i really enjoy being home! i miss the feeling of being home, especially on a weekend where everyone's in! shall stay home as often as i can, 6 weeks left only!!! ha i really like this pic of me!! super nice!! feel like i am flying, not on a descent, but ascending! freedom n dare to dream! 往前飞!

Sat.. went for the british council uk bound students predeparture event.. wasnt really a smashing event, fell below my expectations. but got the chance to meet up with lotsa frens from bmt, sch and wad not.. those whom i had really lost touch! got to talk to seniors at camb, and also fellow pple going there the same year =) feels warmly, hopefully will be fun there!

Sun.. after a swim, i suddenly had a craving for twistees after walking past the shop at my void deck! bought a big packet!! been really long since i last ate a pack of twistees! curry favour, my favourite! thinking back.. it was this devilish junk food tt made me fat when i was in pri sch! had to have a pack a day!!! oh well.. i dun care! shall eat whatever i want now! am realli gonna miss singaporean food (and junk food!) !!!

My favourite junk!

Pawnees Kayaking!

Today, being a holiday for me(perks for being a moulder of future gen!), woke up super early this morning to make visa! lucky i was no.2 in the queue and didnt have to wait! muahhaha.. then headed down to pasir ris sea sports club for kayaking with oac!

turns out that there's only 4 of us! zm, cons, pg n me! small group, but its the company that matters! chop chop settled our booking, payment and wad not and we hurried off for corney(sp) island! journey that was tumultuous; sea was choky, erratic wave n current constantly drove us off course, and we haven kayaked for AGES! after some superhuman effort and determination, we reached our destination n that's where all our fun began! (wanted to proceed to punggol beach but we gave in to the super nice sandy beach, sunny weather, good food, wonderful company!) zm was nice to make toast for all.. so full of 爱心! n we bought oranges from ntuc! being gentlemenly, helped them peeled all the oranges! while we were lazing around, decided to take corny pictures! tried taking mid air shots with all kinds of position, crazy shots and dunking geokz into the water!!! was super fun and full of crap! but pictures were cool okiez! pple who didnt join us, u will be darn jealous!

we were left exhausted after all our fun! n we decided to head back to our starting point! sea was rough n we were again the current with strong offshore wind! but being high and cranky from all the fun we had, our spirits were not to be beaten. we sang national day songs, oac songs, ohana songs and everything to do with oac! really brings us back to times when we were trainees, then instructors! how i miss those times! wanted to cap geokz n cons when we were close to beaching up but failed! oh well, we still rewarded ourselves with a bunch of fun, nice pictures and dunking cons into the sea! ha.. enjoy! i miss oac!

i like the way my life is now. i want to enjoy every moment of it, before i fly. leave no regrets behind, no strings attached. my life.

the kind of feeling has start to creep in..

Urgh! the feelings of nostalgia, not wanting to leave home, hoping to bring everything with me, have started to slowly creep in.. went back to school today though there was no pay.. looking at the students in their house tee, cheering on their frens, housemates during the sports meet really brings back lotsa beautiful memories.. it felt as though i was back to my secondary school times, when life was simple, everything was wonderful.. how i miss sec sch years.. but luckily i was able to go back to teach! realise that my students are getting funnier, cuter and crappier day by day. naughty yet adorable =) i will miss them!! it's definitely a challenging yet daunting task to teach.. but seeing their adorable faces beaming with youthful and a tinge of naughtiness makes me want to educate them even more=)

on my way back, was listening to national day songs=) never once have i been so patriotic. guess it's one good thing teaching has moulded me =P i will miss singing nice, beautiful national day songs, watching ndp parades, fireworks and etc.. hmm.. i will miss everything!

okie here are some photos i found..

Vandalism.. haha

Almost the whole class came back for speech day..

t.e.a.c.h

since i got 2 more mths to spare, decided to take up teaching at my alma mater, rv =) have started teaching for 2 weeks already and was assigned 4 classes, chem n bio=) timetable was bad, workload was almost equivalent to that of full time teacher, but it is a good learning experience.. now i understand how exasperated my teachers felt when i was still a student. teaching at my alma mater also brings back alot of memories; the same white, distinctive uniform, attending morning assembling, singing school song and national anthem, hearing "起立" and "行礼", teachers who are now my colleagues, the same old tuckshop aunties who remembers me and many many more.. man i feel nostalgic! hmm.. shall do my best to 化愚化顽!