On scholar-ships..

(Disclaimer: the author is in a cranky mood. what's written in the following paragraphs may not be pleasing, esp. to those under "S". you are advised to skip this entry. read at your own risk.)

hmm... been asked quite alot of times abt y y y i chose not to take up.. kinda sian to keep repeating my answers and sometimes when i aint in the right frame of mind, i will start to blabber nonsense.. but try not to take my comments too seriously coz i aint really in the perfect mood to write abt this topic, just have to get it out of my mind so i can start on other stuffs..

Yes, the big word starting with the letter "S". To most, it's something prestigious and glamourous, something worth fighting for; or so we were trained to think. It is this illusive notion of having "free" education, secured job in the future and being placed on the fast-track to success that has made people yearn for it, badly. Pardon me for being cynical, will this always be the case or just merely a rosy picture we have painted to assuage our fear? Often, some may be badly caught up in the chase for this illusive "pie" that they lost track of their directions. Is getting this "pie" so important that one can cast aside their person dreams and line themselves along their sponsor's direction?

I am not trying to make a sweeping statement or some erroneous generalisation. Some of the people i met really have no idea what they are in for after their studies. It's kinda parochial to think of "S" as some immediate form of money to see you through the education of your choice. If you were to look beyond, it's the job/bond it entails that will ultimately change or influence the kind of life you lead. I am trying to be sarcastic, but dont you find it rather "insulting" to let your sponsor decide where they want to assign you? It's foolish to try to convince oneself that you will have interest in the job. At the point when one's trying to decide whether to take up, there are way too many factors at influence to make an unbias choice. Are you sure that you will definitely like the job? or are you just plain trying to convince yourself that you will slowly like the job? Let's all face it, you have to really experience doing that particular job before you can decide whether you like it or not. Then here comes another problem, arent all "S" suppose to be adaptable, all rounded and ...?

Adaptability vs interest. No doubt one may adapt easily to any changing environment, there will ultimately come a point when one's too tired to change to suit the environment anymore. adaptability may be a good short term trait but it's interest that will ultimately drive one towards the path he/she wants and excel. Face it, if you dont have the interest, every waking moment of serving your bond will be tormenting. And slowly, you will start to entertain the thought of breaking (branded the ultimate immoral act of all) b--D. And if you were to let your "inner evil" enroach you, that's wad i call unethical.

People think that it's cool to go on fms. but the truth is, it's hard to tie over financially. With an "S", almost everything's paid for, planned for. but with fms, i am my own travel agent, insurance agent, bank agent, finance controller and the list goes on.. and my family aint that financially apt in paying my fees. despite all the trouble, i value freedom; the joy of choosing what i want to be in the future. that's y i chose to be daddy's mummy's "S"!

Freedom is what i chose. Free.